Where Does The Time Go?!

 I have reached the point that I have both looked forward to and dreaded since my arrival in Uganda: the time near the end of my stay when I realize what little time I have left. Lately, I have been consumed by a feeling of being rushed and pushed forward. It seems as though every aspect of life wants me to move quickly into the future, much more quickly than I would like to move. Missing home and all of the people that I love there, my thoughts have been pushing my mental life forward. The continual march of life’s activities, like registering for classes for next term, pushes me forward. Time itself, moving quickly when I am occupied and quickly, still, when I enjoy my quieter moments when I can bake, iron or just sit and think and reflect, keeps its hand firmly on my back, guiding, perhaps shoving me forward.

When I first arrived I would look to the sky so that I could only see clouds and I would imagine that I was home. I would feel comforted then and, when I allowed the Ugandan earth back into my line of vision, I would feel again what I was looking to avoid: fear, loneliness or the general feeling of being overwhelmed. Now, I look at the clouds and back to experience something different. When I allow myself to be home for a few short seconds, I feel both grateful and confused by the ease of my life. I try to separate my emotions, but usually fall into a general feeling of confusion. I think that I need a good length of time to process all of this, something that concentrating on the clouds for a few short moments cannot provide me with. When I allow Uganda to enter my vision again, I feel relief. When I first arrived, I would have never imagined that this would be the emotion I would reach at this point in my exercise. I feel relief. I feel relief that I am still in this very different place. I feel relief that I have some short time left. I feel relief that I don’t have to worry, yet, about all of the pressures that turn my back into knots, like continual deadlines, finding internships, finding jobs, finding a way to finance living and continually striving to be better than I already am (don’t get me wrong, this is something I love about life, but I usually don’t take the time to give myself credit for who I am and what I’ve already accomplished). I think it is both nice and important to just be every once in a while and appreciate who you are and what you have accomplished, which, I find, is a difficult state to achieve in the daily grind of my life in the States. Though many Westerners (myself included) become annoyed at times by Uganda’s different value system, I can’t express how much I appreciate (at this point in my life and for this amount of time) the chance to be surrounded by people that enjoy just being. It’s like time isn’t something ticking away, in short supply that we must ration out to various activities, but rather the medium in which we live, like water to a fish.

 

(I have to pause here to tell you that I have a huge smile on my face and a lighter heart because we are on the road and just had to stop for a few moments to allow a heard of cows to cross. They pretty much do what they want and we definitely do not want to find ourselves in their way! Oh, the little things in life!)

 

Speaking of the little things, there are so many ants here! I can’t tell you how many anthills I have seen. One of them was as big as a car! It makes me wonder how many total ants there are in Uganda (and then I realize that I don’t want to think about that!).

 

Here are some photos. Just for fun!

 The view from my boss': Kampala suburbs.

Bartering for matooke on a tea plantation:

Self-explanatory: 

Muddy Buddies (with a Ugandan twist)!

Monkey mischief at a campsite: